Reminder

Friday 29th June 2012.

Today is a great day, the weather is so nice. I have walked from Chinatown, where I live to the local library. The reason I have chosen to come here is to immerse myself in the books, the literature and the information, knowledge which I can access easily and find my ways to solve some of the current problems I have.

Working on a number of job applications, this process recalled my memory of how frustrated, confused, angry, nervous I have felt before when I was just graduated from University. At that time, whichever positions I had could firmly impact on my professional development and my career. I applied widely on all different jobs, different fields and any opportunities which I could have. I have still remembered my conflicts of working for the casino and the first job I did, it caused my thinking and time to make a non-negotiable decision. And finally, after a few months, I have resigned. That was the fact I could not work in that environment. Fairly reasonable to say, it was a good start for me to deal with a diverse of people. Nevertheless, I have felt kinda I have made a conflicted decision to re-email to the manager of the casino whether they could re-hire me. I am afraid I won't be able to do the work. However, the money is urgently needed.

It has been 10 months since I have left Melbourne. Sydney has nicer weather, a wilder society where I have taken my experiences in Australia to another level. I have felt fortunately to be here and fighting on my own way to explore the possibilities which I could have.

The emotions, the experiences and knowledge I have learnt, especially from some of the inspirational stories from my work in the community organisation have given me a chance to think, review and reflect on my own moral philosophy. There are a number of things that I should take into consideration for my career choice such as - having a degree in business, but I prefer to work for non-profit organisation - more focus on the people "key element" of the story - directly response to the community members. I feel I have more confidence to work with in the community sector, rather than business.

Interestingly, I have not thought clearly about this before, regardless of my dream of having a business. I felt that my proposition is the "people" skills, whereas it is just a pre-mature stage. I do feel that I should learn more about "people" and know how to use it in my own world.

The influences of people who I have met is significantly impact on my attitudes and my growth. My personal quote should be highlighted all the time, just to remind myself about how I come to this world and how I have defined a unique Van "Everything arises from the mind" and "Everyday is another page of the interesting journey book, which we learn through an interesting life"

The challenge or the change?

I am looking to settle down my life in Australia. I am sick and tired of not be able to stick to one commitment...

The problematic thought caused from today conversation with my manager. I have been thinking quite a while for my part time job. At the moment the minimum hours becomes the maximum hours as indication that my work could not pay me more than that, which is totally opposite to what I have thought. I was very confident that the project could and should carry on more works, generate more activities and so on for every one, to benefit the community.

That is fine for the whole picture but for my life, self-ishly, I can not say any words as I would not be able to save any cents, cover all expenses as the way my lifestyle is now.

What is the point? I don't know, conflicts between self-awareness and favours for the others. I am totally putting my mind in a catch 22 situation. or I just complicate my own judgement. I remember when I first stepped into Australian land, I was very ambitious and rocking on my career focus, working hard and deal with every challenges to gain as much experience as possible. The journey is long and continuous. I am still suffering with all different issues, some are still as same as before, but some are different. My philosophy about world changes and is more open than before. However, some times I do feel I have a lot more conflicts in my own thinking.

The journey of finding a good job that you like to work on, it makes you happy and you earn enough money to survive a happy life is incredibly challenged, difficult and invaluable.

The world of drunken fig.

The world of drunken figs is in South Australia, where is travelling north in about 2 hours, where the wineries are surrounded with a lot of delicacy, amazing food, amazing views. I have had spent about 3 days at Clare in mid May 2012. The town has embraced a fantastic gourmet weekend which is a 2 days full of wine, food and entertainment for everyone. 

My friend is staying at Clare for his work. Catching up with him was a nice experience, where we had an amazing, and for me the "very first time" long table dinner with 6 courses meal and matching wines. That was the first time when I have had drunken figs. 

 The warmness and kindness of this land has given me one of the most memoriable experience. I have had really good time, when I lied down on the pier at the beach, and it was so nice to look at the beautiful sky, where there was not a ugly cloud, hiding anything.

Yummy cupcakes

Lamb loin with herbs roasted.

 Back to Adelaide after a few days, I have learnt that life is so short. Hard to realise something so much valuable around, the experience is not easy to find. Life can be a pig, where two children tried to pull it tails and its ears but did not realise that the pig couldn't change any thing... Simply "life" is hard.